That won't be me...

Symptoms of Cortisol Withdrawl:

Abdominal pain, Confusion or coma, Darkening of the skin, Dehydration, Dizziness or light-headedness, Fatigue, Flank pain, Headache, High fever, Joint pain, Loss of appetite, Loss of consciousness, Low blood pressure, Nausea, Profound weakness, Rapid heart rate, Rapid respiratory rate (see tachypnea), Shaking chills, Skin rash or lesions, Slow, sluggish movement, Unintentional weight loss, Unusual and excessive sweating on face or palms, Vomiting

So I read a bunch of stuff before my surgery about how the withdrawl of Coritsol from my body, both from the adrenal removal and (hopefully) the cure of the Cushing's would be a long road.  There were all these side effects.  I'd be really sick, yadda yadda yadda right?  But the whole time I was thinking...

"That won't be me."

"I'm never sick."

"I'm not THAT sick right now so I'm sure it won't be that bad."  

"Not nearly as bad as all these horror stories you read online right???"

It's bad.  It's almost every single one of the things listed above.  Yesterday something happened that I don't think has ever happened in my adult life.  I couldn't get out of the bed.  I just laid there.  For hours.  In the dark.  I didn't even watch tv.  Finally mid-afternoon I moved to the couch.  Now luckily this adrenal "crash" that I experienced pretty much from Friday through yesterday I think was a direct result of them lowering the dose of my Hydrocortisone too quickly on Thursday.  So after a call to the doctor yesterday morning and upping the dose I was taking I'm back to feeling only "medium crappy" instead of like I was going to die.  (By the way I think I'm going to come up with a list of "how I feel" choices to pick from when people call or write and ask how I am.  Answers to chose from will include things like "Well I didn't hurt anyone today" and "I only felt like I was going to puke for 4 hours today, not all day.")

I don't say all this stuff for anyone to feel bad for me or anything but mostly for people who are Googling like I was and stumble upon this to see what it's really like.  It's odd too, the physical stuff is pretty bad but I will admit the mental stuff is a little scary.  I'm sort of in this daze.  Hard to focus, hard to get things accomplished, don't feel like talking out loud.  All of these things are so 180% away from my normal personality.  I think that was part of the whole staying in bed thing yesterday, not only did I feel horrible but I just sort of wanted to stay under the covers and make it all go away?

Wow-that was all kind of heavy and stuff-sorry about that...good news is I'm at work this morning.  Time to catch up on some things.  Apparently the people waiting to be paid don't really care about all the stuff mentioned above?  Go figure?  Bills are still due, payroll needs to be done, the mail piles up.  

Looks like this is going to be a one day at a time kind of thing.  LVP told me yesterday I wasn't Wonder Woman.  I was a little insulted...of course I am?  But maybe just not right now...  

Back to work...